New York 7's 2005
The Big Apple and the McGill Boys
I feel as though this web page is lacking in recap’s
so I felt it my duty to add to the overall quality of human life on earth
by writing about our little trip to NYC. I’m kind of bored right
now, so this will keep me from studying for American history. Speaking
of which, what about those exams, don’t they suck. Anyways, it all
started with the prospect of debauching another city than Montreal. I
had become all blasé with that scene, as had my other compatriots
on the team. As the time to leave drew nigh, I thought that paying off
my credit card and booking our hotel rooms in New York would be a good
idea. It was a bright one, but one that should have been taken care of,
oh about a month before. Checking the tournament web page and realizing
that the tourney hotel was now full, I called around looking for other
arrangements. This led to Sean and I having to book a hotel, in where
else, Harlem. Faced with the prospect of sleeping in a dumpster for a
weekend or watching people do it, we chose the Harlem arrangement.
The meeting place was Budget Rent-a-Car and a bleary eyed team, waited
for a teary eyed Dylan, as he realized that his credit card would not
allow him to rent the van. Finally, sucking up his pride he acquiesced
to a willing Frenchy in that of Simon, who graciously put the van on his
card, with Dylan as the driver. The crews packed up and left.
Like Ryan and Marissa, we headed for the border, with dreams of winning
a NY Seven’s Championship, could it be for our McGill Boys? Unknowingly,
my car had been set up by those conspiring Frenchy’s, trying to run
a Quiet Revolution on me, they made our car numbers even, 3 English to
3 French. With the likes of Francois and Simon on said team, I was scared.
I immediately put in the rule of no talking French while I was driving.
This rule was broken within two hours. With little in my arsenal, we packed
them all in the back with Outerbridge and Iain rocking the seats closest
to myself. We had created our own little Berlin wall. The drive was straight,
boring and ugly, these three in combination reminded me of someone. I
thought for a bit, Marshall, that’s it, minus the straight part.
Hours past, and conversations did, so we resorted to our last hope, a
story from Frankois. Sean promptly turned up the radio, cd’s were
the case for the rest of the drive. A few stops in McDonalds and a lot
of food later, reassured me that I would be puking at some point during
this tourney.
As we approached New York, the bright lights had us awestruck. Most of
us coming from smaller towns, this made Montreal look like an ant farm.
I dreaded the drive ahead of me as we missed the turnoff for the GW Bridge,
and ended up at a store where an Indian fellow working at a 7/11 assured
me to go ‘sttttreeatd’. Enlisting in the help of Jonesy, he
told me the man told me to go straight. OOOOH, straight. Right, the opposite
of Marshall. We did, right into a bunch of traffic on a Friday night.
Blast.
We’ll, we found Harlem. TV is right, its pretty ghetto. I saw a man
puking on a car with a Murphy’s Oil bottle in hand and ‘mad
gangstas’ were around my ‘hood’. I talked with Jonesy as
to how we’d defend an attack on my “honour” (read: deuce,
man I hate this polite rules with the new webpage). Jonesy, true to form
suggested the cheeky method of a good kicking, whereas I chose the “I
have the hhhhhiiiivvv” route. I digress.
As I entered the hostel, Sean informed me that the hostel hadn’t
secured our reservation. The Seinfeld where Jerry’s reservation isn’t
there came up as my attack. Woman “I think I know what a reservation
is.” Jerry- “Apparently, You don’t.”
Turns out, they got us some rooms ready but we were split up. I am Murphy’s
Law embodied.
So we shook up the joint a little bit, Oliver’s commanding stature
making the desk monkey ruin his pants. We went upstairs to our new home,
got ready, put on our touques. Aside – Simon made Baby Blue touques
with pink writing. We were jokes, we just wanted everyone to know this.
We went out to the tournament bar. Ladies flocked to these blue touques
like Konvisor on a fat chick. Some of these girls Konny would have had
a hay day with, let me tell you. Oh man. Like really people. Edwards and
Cadrin were the losers of this night. Edwards lost a toque to some broad,
and Cadrin his dignity as he licked some girls foot. A rugby chick. We
really should have no respect for him. Well, the scrap that is there,
lets rid ourselves of it. Like that foot…man, I’m sick now.
We’ll anyways, we tied one on, had a decent time and left on our
ways. We had an early wake up at 6am ahead of us. Oh yeah, we had to follow
Oliver because he’s the Green Beret or Girl Scout or whatever, he
got lost. I threw a 3l bottle of water at him for revenge, or at least
that’s how I remember it. I set off a car alarm, and off we ran in
Harlem away from the ‘5-O’, man I felt as cool then as I do
now saying it. Ollie deserved it. I should have given him a curbie. What!
I told you I’m hard.
Dawn raked its fingers across our eyes and we headed hung over to the
big matches. The fields were strewn with glass, nails, syringes and everything
New York. They even had those garbage cans bum’s make fires in. Our
first game was against a team from….where…..I forget, Newawlans,
nah, somewhere in the North East. We thought we were going to be good,
then we realized we were all forwards. The game rested on Jonesy and Cadrin.
A good showing for a team that had only practiced once with 7 guys. We
tied in the last minutes of the game. A heaving team came off the field,
but none more disgustingly than myself. Anything that was in my stomach
left near Frankois kit bag.
The second game we assured ourselves we’d win. We almost lost to
a team with a midget, they were from like Rhode Island or something. We
had a great showing by Oliver, Jonesy, Sean “I used to play Flyhalf”
Outerbridge and rookie sensation “P’tit Simon”. We found
our step in the second half and just pumped them. We then found out Alex
had had all of his stuff stolen. That win was for him. Until he heckled
us in a drunken stupor. Then the win was for me.
Third game. We lose to a team that is full of backs. Conneticut. I am
ashamed of our play, as we start fights and Simon is sent to the sin bin
in 7’s. Plus, this old ref was senile; they let him out to ref rugby
apparently. The Gods were not smiling on us in that game. Nor was the
doctor as Cadrin broke his thumb.
Regardless, we were in the semi’s. We played some subsidiary of Notre
Dame. We started to lose, got mad, came back on a kick from Jonesy, way,
way out. Outerbridge went to fly and into sudden death we went. A kick
was blocked and possession not secured and the corner was turned on us
slow forwards yet again. Our day was done. Time to drink.
We went out for dinner, Simon and I were already half in the bag. I called
up my cousin to come out with us, expecting a little company, we received
a lot as she paid for all our dinner’s and bought us many rounds
of drinks, not to mention great company from her and my little 16 year
old cousin who drank just about as hard as all of us. Many thanks! Meghan
took the cake though and was just bombed. The apple doesn’t fall
far from the tree. After numerous pick up attempts by Cadrin and Edwards,
my cousin (read again, she’s 16) rejected them. Props to her, smart
one she is. We all drank, had some good times, some of us ended up in
other parts of town. Others, ended up at bars called “Rodeo”.
Oh yeah I almost forgot. Nick was trying to pick up this chick, succeeding
quite well actually. Sean brought it upon himself to find the ugliest
woman in the bar and show my cousin, Nick and the girl. I think the words
were, “Check out that ugly mullet back there.” Turns out it
was the girl’s mom. Boy, was Sean’s face more red than normal.
We jumped in cabs. Mine decided to fight another cab and pleasantries
were exchanged. I threatened the other cabby with Simon, words were exchanged,
too vulgar for the site.
The next day we all took off from our hostel, bid adieu to Harlem, its
liquor stores and fried chicken places. My craving for collard greens
and biscuits like momma used to make had dwindled. Off we went our separate
ways. Cadrin’s car went straight home so Nick could go see his mommy
about his thumb. Our group decided to be adventurous and drove around
New York and did the sight seeing thing. Very impressive. We then turned
our sights on home, but ended up in Jersey. Getting the Frenchmen to ask
for directions was my sick idea of a joke, but it turned out well. Simon
was coherent, where Frank was not. We ended up going through small NY
State towns until we ended up on the right road in three hours of…you
guessed it! bumper to bumper traffic. To test our theory we pitted man
against machine. Sean and Kois ran along the shoulder as our van slowly
skidded along this highway. The joggers won for about 100 yards. Insurmountable
damage has been done to my memory of Frank and Sean running together.
10 hours later we ended up in Montreal. I feel as though this was a great
tour, something that should be re-visited next year with a team that can
outrun other teams down there which can be done. But also I think we should
keep a social team, as being jokes is part of life. We should just be
called RcGill Medmen or go in the girls division, cause there was some
tanks. Like ol’ Jabba the Hut there or the girl that looked like
she was in a ********. Anyways, cheers gents to a good time and some good
memories. Hope to see you all in hell. Well it’s 1am. Oh yeah, for
everyone else, Merry Xmas, Hannukah and Festivus. Kwanza, you too. We’ll
see you at the elections dinner.
Written By D.K - Sometime Last year.