McGILL TOPS QSSF REGULAR SEASON ONCE AGAIN

The acrid smell and bitter taste of a successful Halloween night hung in the nostrils and taste buds of the McGill Club A and B sides as they traveled to Ottawa to bolster an emerging rivalry with the Ottawa U GeeGees and hopefully spark a new one, taking on a local CEGEP team, Heritage College.

In total juxtaposition of all previous McGill side's outing, the Club A side came out with a boom, scoring an unprecedented five tries in the first half and holding their opposition to a hard boiled goose-egg.

Within the first few minutes, our very brash and completely inappropriate Israeli, Nitai Ben-Shach, stiff armed, spun and hurdled his way into the try zone for the first score. Moments later, a series of play as flowing and smooth as Valentin's in-bus oration, resulted in a try from the Kuze Man himself Kuzivakwashe Murwira, running a sublime scissor slicing succinctly through the last lines of Ottawa defense. Upon the restart a clearing kick from the fire-footed #10 Connor McKenzie was caught by the fire-headed flanker Devon Howard, perfectly parlaying the angle of the bouncing prolate spheroid into a marvelous try for the five points. The onslaught continued as McKenzie dummied for the score on the blind wing and Howard made up for his socially unacceptable hair colour and scored yet again. It also must be noted that the foot of Nick 'The Able Seaman' Santo was in full flaunt today, stepping in for the ailing McKenzie and hitting 4 of 5 conversions, that ladies and gentlemen, is your tax dollars at work.

Ottawa, also presumably shaking off the post-Halloween cobwebs, came out fully inspired in the second half, scoring twice before the reeling Redmen could regain their footing. It also must be noted that this was the first time Kuzi has seen snow, the rook came out at half and was replaced by arguably the Englishman with the least disgusting teeth of all time: Liam Brown. After powerhouse rumbler Roderick MacKenzie rolled in for his try, an act that can only be described as the “Drew Jarisz of old” ensued. Liam made a solid break but did not hear the whistle, dipping and weaving, it was a well earned try, but the scope of profanities that followed can only be described as 'Northern English'. In the closing moments of the game, Lawrence “Lau Lau” Di Pilato stole the ball and erratically weaved through enemy lines with the fluidity of a one winged housefly. But, as he always does, closed with style and a fist pump (not to mention complementary bottle service) and ended the game on the highest of notes for the Redmen. And no, he didn't vomit a bottle cap as his pre-game complexion implied. The Power Rangers would be proud.

It must also be noted the opposing outside-centre's appreciation for getting slammed to the turf many a time. All with a smile on his face, the chap barely knew what hit him despite the chiaroscuro of the blanche niege and our native Zimbabwean, Kuzi. Minus twenty points to the veritable bully that Valentin Sergeev turned into, pushing and punching around a new prop, he seemed like a great guy! For shame Valentine, I don't think he will be your sweetheart this year. Menzefricke, the kid played well, and I like saying his name. Menzefricke, Menzefricke, Menzefricke. And to those who did not get mentioned, the world must know of the terrific game had by Vince “The Pince” Galland and of course, our terrific front row, where would we be without them? Nowhere, just ask Andrew Stephens.

Club B
McGill RFC B-Side also took on opponents from our Nation’s capital this past Sunday on a snow-covered pitch that ended up looking like Passchendale after our spirited troops marched into No Man’s Land. The opposition ended up composing of a rag-tag group of two CEGEPs, their coaches and a couple other veterans that probably could have seen action in the Great War itself.

The game consisted of three, twenty minute periods (unconventional, that’s how we do it in Quebec), but the game must have seemed like it dragged on for hours as neither our backs or forwards could gain any traction on the sod, or a grip on the slick ball. The Ottawans scored first with a converted try in the first stanza, only to be rebutted quickly by the pressing Redmen squad, Clement Bisserbe, a chum who calls Ottawa home, leapt at the home field advantage and scored. Unfortunately, the boots was not working for this team Sunday, as the conversion and many tries off of penalties sailed wide as well. There was quite a bit of forward balls abetting to the conditions, this allowed Matthew Mercuri had his say with his debaucherous ways solidifying himself as a contender for McGill RFC’s annual ‘Person who Best Exemplifies the Most Outlandish and Ridiculous Traits, On and Off the Pitch’ Award.

Added proof that McGill RFC also has the greatest coaches around, first year coach Steve Choi donned the Red and White after a decade long hiatus, guiding his team with North Korean-esque precision and leadership. While he did apparently drop the ball in the Try Zone, his own personal censorship board had nothing of it, and no one is allowed to know of this so called “event”. While there wasn't the same lineup as the team had practiced with, the squad was able to Slipp out an admiral performance. And boy, Honzo was filthy.

write up by Trevor Clarke.