McGILL 45 vs SHERBROOKE 0 (Semi-Finals)

An asphyxiating 45-0 McGill victory strangled Sherbrooke’s season to an end in the 2009 QSSF semi-finals. With no answer for McGill’s dominance, Sherbrooke resorted to fisticuffs and dirty tackles. The Redmen realized it wasn’t worth taking the bait. For when you are going to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite.

Unlike their opponents, McGill had everything to lose. An injury or a penalty for retaliation could have meant missing the QSSF final or Eastern championships. Sherbrooke played the majority of the game with 13 men. The referee dealt them a pair of pocket reds and 5 yellows on the flop. Spear-tackles ground the game to a halt. Boots stomped down on McGill players with reckless abandon. Kyle Buckley took a rib-cracking boot to the chest after being tackled out of bounds. Sherbrooke also gunned for rookie hooker Keelan Chapman. He took a metal studded kick to the face, adding further insult to his recently broken nose. But all the McGill players responded with magnamity. Even front row Mike Minz, an unlikely person to take inspiration from the new testament, turned the other cheek after taking a blatant punch to the face. Only hothead rookie Maxwell Gregory took a yellow for McGill, and even that was under dubious circumstances. With the exception of Coach Red, who has to purchase a new umbrella this week and send an apologetic bouquet of flowers to the referee, the McGill players demonstrated the equanimity of red-shirted Ghandis.

At half-time, Captain James 'Wolfe' Stellick gave a moving speech to help his troops keep their composure. It has been recorded verbatim. "This victory against Sherbrooke the object of all our toils, now stands in full view before us. A deceitful enemy, who has dared to exasperate you by their cruelties, they are now constrained to face you on the open plain. Without ramparts or entrenchments to shelter them. Those numerous green jerseyed fiends: insolent, mutinous, unsteady, and ill-disciplined; as soon as their irregular ardour is damped by one firm tackle they will instantly turn their backs, and give you no further trouble but in the pursuit. For little is there to be dreaded by resolute men upon fair and open ground."

McGill managed a series of quality tries. 2 nd row Roderick Mackenzie snagged a loose ball on his 20 and went on a galloping run. Intent on the try line, he looked up to see winger Kyle Buckley prancing patiently next to him. A resigned pop pass put Buckley away to score one of his two Chariots of Fire tries of the game. (Kuh-kuh-kuh-kuh-sh-sh-sh-sh)

Inside center Sam Skulsky, with all the overdefined musculature, grandes fouttés and rondes de jambs of the Russian ballet, bedazzled defenders as he spun in for a twenty yard try.

The indefatigable Mike Davis scored three tries on the wing. The most memorable of his three tries came when 240-pound Hooker Keelan Chapman dummy-passed his way through the defense to draw in the entire Sherbrooke defense. Then he outsourced the finish to Davis with a 20 yard floating pass.

Anton Nestle, despite not being an ambi-cutter on the day, managed a try of his own before taking up the charge of lead heckler on the sideline. Mattieu Sidoti rounded off the scoring with 5 conversions.

The ignoble Sherbrooke play slowed down the game but didn’t suppress the sideline festivities. McGill club players came out in force and costumes to support the varsity side. Noteables were scrumhalf Dan Levin’s obscure reference to Colonel Sander and club mascot Roy Voigt dressing up as himself. The best costume was no doubt the jokester who came dressed ironically as ‘Hassan Akbar’s hot redhead girlfriend.’

McGill meets Bishops this coming Saturday in a fight for the QSSF crown.

McGILL SCORING

Mike Davis (3 tries; 15 pts)

Kyle Buckley (2 tries; 10 pts)

Sam Skulsky (1 try; 5 pts)

Anton Nestel (1 try; 5 pts)

Mathieu Sidoti (5 conversions, 10 pts)

write up by Adrian Thorogood.